Thinking of You

My dearest Jonghyun, today makes it day 84. It’s almost going to be three months and then the 100th day. Time flies, doesn’t it? I’m a bit behind on posting things but I plan to get back on track. It’s just not the same, you understand right? Don’t get me wrong, I want to continue and I will because this site means everything to me and I’m sure you wouldn’t want me to stop. It’s just, the updates were mainly focused on the concerts and the last day was very difficult for me. I hope my followers understand and I’m thankful for their patience.

It’s so hard to see just four there and it’s a constant reminder of how you can never come back. I think how much harder it must be for the other boys and how sad they are. The concerts were difficult for them and I tended to not read fan accounts so much just because it was heartbreaking, but seeing pictures of them smiling and reading how they were able to joke around made me happy. They’re taking the first steps to being okay again. I’m so proud of them.

Recently, a friend mentioned suicide to me and I got upset. They have no idea how much what you did still affects me. I think about you everyday and I distract myself by not looking at SHINee things too much anymore, I haven’t even really touched any videos related to you since last month. Why is that? Anyway, just because I’m not seeing so many things related to you doesn’t mean I don’t think of you. Some days I think of you more than others, especially at night. Some days just hit me really hard and then I’ll miss you a lot, but I’m doing okay. I mentioned you for the first time in awhile today.

I plan to visit Korea in November or maybe December, I’ll be sure to visit your memorial in Coex Artium and give you flowers. I had a dream about you, I just wish I could remember clearly what it was. You were still alive and I saw you at night with the moon shining but that’s all I remember. I always remember so many pointless dreams, I just wish I could remember this one… anyway, I’m glad I dreamt about you.

It’s almost your birthday, as well as mine. I’ll be sure to celebrate your day some way. As always, I miss you and love you very much ❀


🌺 T4L Q&A πŸŒΊ

Hello all! How are you?

It’s been requested and it’s back, back, back! XD

Thanks for the questions! πŸ™‚ ❀

Q: What’s your favorite song lately?

A: “Kismet” by Bond

Q: Have you ever been to a concert?

A: Nope ;-;

Q: Can you play any instruments?

A: No but I plan on taking up the violin some time in the future

Q: I’m a new Shawol. Can you recommend videos for me to watch to help me get to know them?

A: “Hello Baby” and “One Fine Day” are great ways to know them.

Q: Why is Taemin always in the front when they dance?

A: The way it works, is that the best dancers (they’re all good, mind you) are in the front while the ones that aren’t really known for dancing in the group would be in the back. Taemin is the dancer in the group so he would be in front along with Key. While Onew and Jonghyun are in the back and Minho tends to be in the middle. But when each member sings their part, they dance in front. Taemin only leads during the chorus, so it’s fair πŸ™‚

Q: How old are you?

A: Didn’t I answer this before? I’m pretty sure I did, so let’s see who remembers and tell me in the comments πŸ˜›

Q: Do you have any albums?

A: I have: “Hello”, “Everybody”, “Base”, “Press It”, “Sayonara Hitori”, “1 of 1” (cassette), and BoA’s “Only One” ❀

Send more questions if you want me to do another one πŸ™‚ Remember, if you have any requests; send them in comments on the request page (top right) and I would love to do them for you πŸ™‚

Also, I’m taking requests for “Pic of the Week” pics! Want to contact me? All my social media is in the top right corner under my “About Me”.

Feel free to email me about anything at!

Love you ❀