Jonghyun Album “Poet | Artist”

“Hello. This is SM Entertainment.

To all of Jonghyun’s fans who have been anticipating about the release of his new finished album since last year, it will finally be released. Jonghyun’s album name is “Poet | Artist” which will be released on January 23rd at 12 o’clock and all of the tracks will be released at the same time. I hope that Jonghyun’s heart, who tried to communicate more through music more than anyone else, will be well received by you. In addition, all of this album’s proceeds will be sent to Jonghyun’s mother and will be the foundation for helping people who are in a difficult environment.

Thank you.”

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Key INS Update

“Hello, this is SHINee Key.

I am greeting you guys after a while. It seems like I will be greeting you guys through senior BoA’s reality with the tour just around the corner so even though it’s a little late, I would like to say it through my mouth. Even though time flew if you say that it’s fast, I am going to get back in my daily track quick after getting my act together. Our members are going to get back up again, but of course Jonghyunnie hyung’s matter can’t seen as a chance for us to collapse. That is a matter that has brought many worries to of course, hyung himself, including his family and many others too, even though I am sad to not be able to see him immediately right now, but I am really well aware that hyung is waiting for me around the corner of a street.

I want to promote with the feeling of hyung always being around as we fill up his empty space and gain strength more than any other time. A request of mine that I dare to ask for, no matter where or when or in what kind of side we are in, I will be grateful if you will treat us, love us like you guys usually do always. We will not disappoint you guys if you guys send in a simple form of support to us for our members to gain strength. Thank you. Key”

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cr: bumkeyk

T4L Jonghyun Memorial Details

Today, I looked in the mirror before going to work and saw what the end of December through the middle of January has done to me. I didn’t look as tired as I thought I would since I haven’t slept well since it happened but I do notice more weight loss added to the amount I already lost from other situations in 2017. The first week, I had no appetite. All I did was force some dinner down my stomach just to not get myself sick. Thankfully, my eating habits are a lot better now and I find myself with more of an appetite.

Not a minute goes by where I don’t think of you, even when there are moments I laugh or smile. However, I still feel as if my laugh and smiles are forced and not quite what they used to be. It’s not really forcing, it’s more like trying to be happy I suppose but in reality, I’m not. I don’t think me or my smiles will ever be the same really and I accept that. I accept the pain I’ll live with in my heart for the rest of my life, I accept all these things and yet it’s so hard to accept you went to sleep. I wonder how much pain you were in and what thoughts were running through your mind before you went to sleep and what led you to do it, I wonder how sad you were and how alone you were during the time it was happening and that just breaks my heart… if only there were a way to go back in time, to save you, to help you not to do it and for you to see how wrong it was… but wishing for it and wondering all these things doesn’t change anything. It’s all pointless. It makes me sad how some people moved on so easily and as each day passes, more and more people talk about you less. I want time to stop for you, I don’t want you to be forgotten, I want something to be posted of you from people everyday… I’m sorry, it’s selfish, isn’t it?

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I want to remember you happy like this. It’s been four weeks now, twenty-eight days, and almost exactly a month. Maybe that’s why I’m even sadder than usual this week, I’m sorry. I love you and miss you, as always ❤

My friends, I see so many more followers here and how much this little site of mine is growing. To those who don’t know me, I’m Teresa or most people here call me T4L. Often times you’ll see me going by the name “Tess” these days, which is a nickname that an old friend gave me and it somehow stuck. So don’t be confused if some people call me that. I’ve decided to hold a special event for our Jonghyun on the 18th of January which is coming up in a couple of days. It will be a memorial for him. What we’re going to do is; to say what you loved most about him and tell your favorite memory of him. You can tell your name or remain anonymous. I’ll make a post and post all your beautiful words and we can reminisce together. Also, if you need to let things out and would like any comfort or help in getting through this time, message me your concerns as well and I can reply in the post so that it can help others too. I’m often very good with words and helping others which I’m proud and happy to do, so please share any feelings you have and don’t keep it bottled up. Let’s all stay together as the family that we are during this time, since Shawols are family.

How to participate for the memorial: email me your message about him (saying what you love most about him and your favorite memory regarding him) and any concerns you may have or feelings during this time that you would like to share, with the subject “Jonghyun Memorial” to taemint4life.se@gmail.com by January 17th 11:59PM EST and I will make a post with all of them on January 18th. Make them as lengthy as you like ❤

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Please take care of yourselves.

 

I Love You

I can’t believe it’s been three weeks, twenty-five days to be exact. Today was a hard day for me, I woke up and saw your tribute video from GDA, other artists talking about you in their speeches and I cried for awhile. I was very sad all day, each day gets harder and harder because each day the realization hits me more and more that it isn’t all a nightmare.

I can’t handle seeing all these things about you anymore, so I’m taking a break from Twitter and just not going on social media things as much. My best friend suggested it to begin with and said how she’s worried for me about how badly this is affecting me. I’m sorry I’m not able to handle this well yet…

I tend to distract myself and look at things that make me laugh but even when there are moments of laughter or happiness, there’s so much sadness inside and pain in my heart. You’re always on my mind. I’m not going to lie and say there aren’t moments where I’m still angry or get upset with you and think “how could you do this to me?” I’m sorry… even after I already forgave you.

Every night before I sleep, I listen to you and often find myself awake with earbuds in my ears and your music still playing. When I’m in the car, I listen to you. It hurts but it’s comforting in a way. I can see your videos, just not certain things or too much in a day. I haven’t even touched Tokyo Dome yet. As you know, I’m sad mostly at night or when I’m on my way to work and my dad sees the sadness and often asks how I am; I say I miss you and I’m sad. He knows how much you and the boys mean to me so he’s often comforting.

There are times I actually think I’m okay and then there are sudden moments I find myself crying and my mom walked in and asked if I’m okay and I said I’m not, then she comforted me. I find the most comfort in my mother and sister who I often share my feelings with more than anyone; especially my dear sister who I share such a special bond with that it’s like I have another half and would be lost without it. I’m sure your brothers are taking very good care of your mother and sister, don’t worry.

At times, I find myself hostile towards family members and I don’t like it. I don’t mean to be but there’s a lot of things I hold inside and keep to myself that I find myself lashing out towards them. Often times I get frustrated towards my father, I need to work on myself. Another thing happened around the time you went to sleep, a friend often hurt me and ended up not being my friend and I left her and I’m just going through a lot emotionally.

I’m getting so personal with you tonight, aren’t I? As always, I know you won’t see this but I still want to write to you. Sort of like letters, I guess. Besides, the last you heard of me was New Year’s Eve.

Your brothers’ letters gave me a lot of comfort and strength. My biggest regret in life will be that I can’t attend this concert. It has so much meaning behind it and I really want to support them and cheer for them but I can’t. Two of my dear friends are going and they promised they would cheer even harder for me. You’ll be there in spirit but your physical presence will be missed more than anything…

Well, I guess I said everything. I promise I’ll get better, I guess it will just take me awhile. And I’ll try not to be upset with you at times, I just miss you… as always. On days I miss you most, I’ll light your candle and smell the scent that now reminds me of you.

I love you very much, dearest Jonghyun ❤ I’m so sorry I could never say it in person.